The moment I realized I was fearless, my life changed. In EBT, we use scientific techniques to rewire the emotional brain, which is the center of survival, the hub of attachment, and the seat of the soul.

For me, part of it was making a personal decision that I didn't want to live in fear for the rest of my life. It is a bit daunting to have the audacity to believe we can live fearlessly . . . which means:

  • facing life's real dangers, taking action to mitigate them, then returning to that state of peace and joy spontaneously.
  • clearing the "fear mongers" that live in each of our brains, relics of suppressed emotions encoded during small and large traumatic experiences.
  • healing your own trauma, fully competent in the practice of small or large chunks of trauma healing as part of your daily self-care.
  • live in a state of mind, body, and spirit connection that brings us peace.

You can have that and more, but it takes a personal reset. It requires focusing on the emotional brain, not the thinking brain, and, to do most expeditiously, it takes using the Cycle Tool, EBT's central rewiring and resilience technique. What follows are the highlights of that journey, which was resetting my life to live without fear.

1. "I am fear-based, and I don't want to be"

Just out of graduate school, with a new job and on shaky ground in all domains of life, let's say, I was in transition! One day, I was driving over the Bay Bridge from my job based in Oakland to my then-home in the Cow Hollow area of San Francisco. I became aware enough of my body signals that I realized that I was in fear, then, as if one awareness caused another to tumble into my conscious mind, I realized that I was always in fear.

Sure, part of it was that in my new job of teaching education theory to health professionals, I stood before large groups of people giving talks, unsure of my content or how to give these talks. Yet, in that moment, I realized that I was always in fear. Fear was me, and I thought, "Get me out of this. I want to be free of fear." I didn't know how to accomplish that or if it was even possible, but at least I knew I wanted it.

2. Many years, just seeking to cope

What followed were those in-between years, a lot of them. Life was so demanding, mainly because I was trying to find my way in work, love, and mothering. I was using my best version of emotional processing, but this was in the pre-EBT years, and so I was still in my neocortex, trying to "figure" it all out. I think of those years as a time of seeking, experimenting, and figuring out how the world works and who I wanted to be. There were many victories, like fixing up a cottage in Occidental, a sleepy town near the Russian River, daily runs along the Marina at 6 a.m. with the Golden Gate Bridge to look up to, and those. weight loss bets – complete with "weigh-ins" with my friend Wayne. But, all in all, it was messy and very hard. I did not have the tools to get to the bottom of my brain and release the myriad of fear memories and self-damaging expectations that lived there.

3. A transition: rewiring my conscious mind

The next phase was training my conscious mind to focus on what was happening in my emotional brain, as evidenced by body sensations and emotions. Basically, my challenge was to somehow release my old way of processing life and focus on my physiologic stress level or "brain state." If I wasn't at a state of connection, then my job was to release overcontrol and trust that if I did a Cycle and spiraled up, all would be well. By this time, I had the EBT tools, so I could accomplish the change in brain state, but what slowed me down was all my trauma wires ("emotional clutter") that had to be cleared. I knew what I should do (stay aware of my brain state and spiral up if I wasn't at Brain State 1), but I didn't always do it.

4. The deep work: Freeing up the unconscious mind

The conscious and unconscious minds have a curious relationship in that they both inform each other. Essential was shifting gears in the conscious mind to put my unconscious mind's activations first. After all, the survival brain must activate those wires during the clearing of trauma. There is no other way to rewire them, and when they launch their stress chemicals, they are in charge. However, knowing that yes, we will be out of control for a few moments, then reliably not only return to control but be so in rapture that we happily steer clear of "overcontrol" makes us productive self-healers. We can do a lot of emotional excavation and find peace inside. As the emotional brain is the seat of the soul, and the Cycle tool not only heals our wounds but nudges us to have a spiritual deepening, both happened for me. My spiritual learnings and knowing that in the Bible, the most often stated words are "Be not afraid" were important to my release from fear.

5. What just happened? Living fearlessly

Then one day, I realized that I had no fears. I didn't fear myself and what hidden monsters were still waiting inside, ready to pounce on me. I didn't fear rejection, knowing that I had survived much of it, but learned it was a blessing. The only way out was to transcend overcontrol and surrender to being of service. It was those times when I was not at Brain State 5 (stress overload), but more like Brain State 10, that the most significant shifts toward transcendence, the spiritual, and freedom from fear occurred. Fancy that. Also, I didn't fear death or the health suffering of the body as it ages. That's part of a well-lived life, too.

So, truly, my unconscious mind was telling my conscious mind that I did not have anything to fear. Yet it was in the moment that I not only experienced fearlessness, but realized that I was fearless, and chose to live without fear, that every aspect of my life became better.

With fear gone, love becoming the new normal

I wish I had figured this process out earlier. In writing this, I hope that my journey gives you more security that you have a loving, forgiving brain that is happy to make you fearless. Sure, it may take a lot of Cycles to clear away that clutter or remind your conscious mind to stop the overthinking and spiral up, but appreciate that with EBT, you have a direct path to the unconscious mind. You can do this!

But there is something more. The emotional brain rewards us in the present moment. Each time you spiral up, notice that just for a few seconds, you are absolutely fearless. I don't mean less afraid, but flat out, sublimely fearless.

So, in a way, the future is now. All you have to do is cycle robustly. Do the work, and each episode of spiraling up will give you a spiritual connection in rapturous peace. Then, out of loving kindness, it will bring on stress again, the perfect motivation needed to spiral up once again, and give yourself a tad more rewiring success in having freedom from fear.

Getting wired for fearlessness and love sooner

We are in the Age of the Emotional Brain now, when stress levels are so high that fears are rampant, even to the point of calling us to give it up and just go numb. Instead, all we need is to use our brain's resilience pathways fully and stop trying to think our way out of our angst. It's not that hard. We become EBTers.

The payoff is substantial. The more devoted we are to spiraling up, training our brains to be fearless, something really good happens. We open ourselves to loving ourselves unconditionally. I noticed that right away. I didn't have anything to fear, so what was I going to do with that massive block of energy I had devoted to all my fighting with my fears? Now I wasn't tethered to fear by Survival Circuits, which blare judgments and angst. I sat in my emptiness, but then love entered my mind. I felt connected to the goodness of life. I felt an abiding love that was safe and very real, and it made me very happy. I didn't do that. I just surrendered to the healing power of my emotional brain and the goodness of the spiritual forces that be.

Perhaps you are already fearless, but if not, I believe we all have it in us as our birthright. It's in our DNA that we have this amazing emotional brain. I took the slow path, but I challenge you to do better than I did. Believe in fearlessness sooner than I did. Then, get together with others who are shedding fear. Spiral up more often solo and wth them.

Watch for moments of fearlessness and notice the tiniest or sometimes full-bore spark of love that comes each time you do. Maybe you can be fearless earlier in life than I was—perhaps even now!