On May 1, 2019, I became a grandparent to (clearly) the most brilliant, handsome, adorable little boy on the planet. (Can't you hear EVERY grandparent saying those words?)
After my sustained Brain State 1 and the tears of joy in holding him, I had that sinking feeling. I have never been a grandparent. I haven't diapered a baby for 30 years, and this unique, precious being is downloading my wires. Just by my being around him, my intimate inner life is becoming part of him.
That's stress for you, so I did a few Cycles, and my partner Walt, an experienced grandparent listened to me. Then he gave me a Connecting Message, saying, "As you did your work, the feelings and sensations in my body were . . . tenderness toward you and happiness for you. Your work was a gift to me because . . . I can see how much you care, and I love you more because of that!"
Of course, when I first met Walt six years ago, those words would never have tumbled out of his mouth, but having found his way to an EBT telegroup and learned the tools, he is now an emotional rockstar. The man who insisted during our first few months of "courtship" that men don't have feelings, they are not capable of joy, and they would NEVER feel their feelings in their body, has now become someone who can do all those things quite well.
I felt better, but having a grandchild is novel, and anything novel causes an allostatic response, a stress overload response, as a way of opening the brain to updating our unconscious mind (emotional wires) so that we're sharper, smarter, and more relevant in our changing world. I knew that the stress I felt was good for me, opening up old wires and helping me update them to be an authentic grandparent to this unique child, as a baby, as well as when he grows into the toddler years.
I could buy dozens of new books about raising children or try to act the part of the "perfect" grandparent, but how ineffective and how boring. Plus, my beautiful grandson would "smell a rat" as the emotional brains of the young look for coherence, that the thoughts, emotions, behaviors, everything are in harmony. We leave in a week for the christening, and I trust I will continue on this adventure of discovering what little Laurel Mellin experiences and how she can do her best to download wires of love, joy, compassion, integrity and more in this beautiful new being.
I'll take my EBT tools with me, and enjoy the ride!