In the last few months, my body got tired. It was too many middle-of-the-night writing fests, a bit of an overload of caretaking of my beloved husband, and too much joy from delivering my EBT groups. My body pushed back, telling me that I needed to ease up.
That's okay. It has a right (and obligation) to do that.
Being passionate about purpose
I realized that spiraling up to One from higher purpose has its own dark side. It really works! I have no regrets about how I have spent my time, but now, the method could probably go on without me. So, I'm resetting my life to focus on balancing purpose with a new hunger for rip-roaringly, satisfyingly natural pleasure.
Our hunter-gatherer ancestors that shaped our genes had their share of Oneness from natural pleasures, so baked into our DNA is a need for that. I have come to appreciate that I am a bit shy on natural pleasures, and to be here for the long-term and stay sound of mind, I need to up my game on them.
Natural pleasures sustain us
It's hard to recall a day off for me or a time when I was not squeezing in showers every second or third day. I cannot explain exactly why the fabric on our dining room chairs has had holes in it for more than 10 years, and I haven't set aside time and resources to get them reupholstered.
In the spirit of "it's all perfect," I don't care about the past, but I do know that it is my job to boost my natural pleasures, in short, to make myself not just in rapturous joy, but plain old happy.
Time to reset our Oneness
Now life is different. EBT has been launched, our team is brimming with talent, energy, and more great ideas than I've ever had. I'm left appreciating that it's time to beef up on those slightly decadent but not artificial pleasures, to keep my brain and life healthy. In short, I need to have some fun.
How does that work, anyway? What is a sensible, natural pleasure for who I am right now? Sensible might be the wrong goal. Instead, I need something that comes from my gut, perhaps some missed childhood delights, or some form of indulgence that makes my heart sing and scribbles out the word "happiness" in neon across the sky.
That's pretty simple. It has to be a horse.
When I figured that out, I went right to the Internet. I want a horse, I need a horse, and there must be the absolutely right horse for me right here and right now. Having made a few missteps in the horse world, I was fully aware that a gorgeous, kicking-up-heals horse was beyond my capacity. I'm not that coordinated and still scared of kicks and bites. A rescue horse that would mean dozens of hours per week of tenderness and stroking and perhaps some serious vet bills wasn't in my bandwidth either.
What I needed was a calm, centered horse that was a reddish-chestnut with a white blaze. That is what I cherished as a child through my Breyer horse collection (I had three of them). They gave me butterflies in my stomach and made my heart sing. Something like that . . .
It's a horse, it's dancing, it's something magical
Right there, on my computer screen, was my horse, with two hours of videos on YouTube, showing him so gentle that the owner could splash fly spray on his face and he just smiled. Walt and I talked to the owner, and although there is an auction – so it might not come to be – the shift in me has been made. If this horse does not become ours, I really have come to understand (having troubled Walt to listen to me do a couple of Cycles at dinner tonight), that it's my job to make it my job to give myself just the natural pleasures I need. Period.
It's a matter of feeling responsible for the act of going wild, being bold, and identifying the natural pleasure that delivers a small hunk of rapture. Without the focused intensity of those years, I would not have followed my spiritual path, however now, it's my time to add a bit more natural pleasure.
So, for you, maybe it's a horse, a garden, a dance class, taking the plunge with online dating, or who knows? After the circuits of external solutions have been cleared, and being of purpose is deeply ingrained, honoring our need for pure natural pleasure may be so key to our health that it has been heaven sent.
I'm going to give it a try.