With shelter in place and the pandemic dragging on, we're lonely! We need emotional connection and new ways to connect with those we love. What follow are ideas based on EBT:
Compassion is key
The "What's my number?" approach can help. First, we all have a brain-based reason for finding relationships challenging right now and for trying to "cut our partners some slack." Stress causes the thinking brain to function poorly, and the emotions that stress activates are hard to process. Nobody is consistently at their most solid, loving best these days!
Second, there are 3 distinct benefits of the approach. One is an immediate source of self-awareness that helps the thinking brain regain control. If we know our physiological brain state, we are not lost. We have a structure of inclusion and recognition. Everyone is in 1 of these states, and everyone in any 1 state is more like others in that state than they are like themselves in another state. In other words, our physiologic state has a good share of the control over how we respond. We can know and love ourselves, and have more compassion for our present-moment experience.
Delivers on-the-spot resilience
Another is resilience. Stress management is not "1 size fits all." Finding the resiliency pathway that can switch off high stress and activate positive emotions and relaxation takes knowing your number. Then, touch the screen several times and within a few minutes, you're back to feeling connected, with a surge of optimism, energy, and well-being.
An easy way to emotionally connect
Most important, using the "What's my number?" approach helps couples connect during times when the thinking brain is offline and emotions are stuck, non-existent, or triggered. If you are in a relationship, the reset of communications for COVID needs to include this one step. Think of a recent time when you or your partner or spouse needed to know what was going on inside the other person. Instead, one or both of you distanced. Or, perhaps you didn't distance, but instead, with the thinking brain offline and emotions surging, said or did things that didn't help your loving connection.
COVID will pass, but it will take time. Learn more about the "What's my number?" approach with our new book or, even better, get the app. Any membership in EBT.org includes that essential support for deepening love and improving health during the pandemic.